One of the reasons people fall in love and later get married is due to the time they spent together. It gives couples the chance to delve deeper into each other’s minds and go past the physical attraction. Furthermore, it’s an opportunity to form the necessary bonds that sustain a healthy relationship. Much like other aspects of our lives, however, it’s not always black and white. This includes the balance between time spent together and time spent apart.
Time Together: Quality over Quantity
Today, it can be quite challenging to find the time to spend with your partner. Work, kids, school, and everything in between can really make it difficult to find that much needed “us” time. However, one of the most common problems in relationships today is how you use the time you have the right way.
Scheduling a four-hour hike that only one of you is going to enjoy might not be the best way to spend time with your loved one. Sure, you might spend the entire day with that person, but that does not mean you’re spending it well. Instead, make sure that the activity chosen is something that both parties can enjoy.
It’s Okay, Time Apart is Healthy
When it comes to spending time apart, it can make one or both of you feel a little guilty. You may feel like you’re neglecting the other person, and you certainly don’t want them to get the impression that you don’t care, especially when the relationship is new. However, the reality is that spending time apart is actually healthy. Taking some “me” time allows people to not only feel like they still have control over their lives but also in regards to their individual identities. Allowing yourself to have time apart keeps the relationship fresh and can even help you avoid conflict.
The above information is undoubtedly great for couples who are in the early relationship stage, but what about married couples? You can’t exactly spend time away from each other when you live together. So, what can you do to keep that balance? The most simple yet effective thing you can do is to communicate with your wife/husband. This is because simply living together does not mean that quality time is spent. Speak about what they can do to either give you some space or spend more time with you. Women who conduct most of the chores around the home may want to take a break from it for a few days. This can be their way of having “me” time. Husbands, on the other hand, can even use this time to bond with their wives.
Remember, the key to having a healthy balance between time spent together and time spent apart all comes down to listening to each other. Only through active listening and concrete actions will this work. Thus, it is highly recommended for you to make the necessary changes first before confronting your spouse.